Dancing on the Fringe of Darkness

The Needs of a Strong Submissive.

I was given a piece of advice many years ago:

“Behind every complaint lies a request.”

Strong submissives often express frustration over the inability of some men to fully appreciate the finer, more intimately motivating aspects of control. I concur. Some men can be completely oblivious to the amazing opportunity they have to control and guide. They are so focused on immediate, selfish gratification that they miss the powerful potential for pleasure and fulfillment in multiples.

Missed opportunities can be painfully obvious. It could be a simple winding of her hair into a lead as she kneels before him, and then using this makeshift bridle to bring her on and off his cock. It could have been a locked gaze - having her fix her eyes on his as she pleasures him so she can watch the bliss on his face. Or it could have been verbal encouragement - soft, deep moans and recognition of her exquisite cock-sucking talents. And yes, it could have been as simple as a heartfelt “gooooooood girl”.

So whenever I hear a strong submissive complain, I ask, what do you really need, girl?

Some mistakenly feel the need to “improve” or “help train” men to be “more Dominant”. Trust me - a man is Dominant - or he is not. Yet, these girls will provide carefully orchestrated reminders and reinforcements of enhanced pleasure for a man who gives them what they crave. They may attempt cue their man into certain aggressive behaviors with provocative dress, language, and movement. And yet….

They are unfulfilled. Intelligent, talented, strong, erotic submissives who attempt this are simply “topping from the bottom”. Dominant behaviors which are encouraged in this fashion are not genuine, and the submissive never really relinquishes control. She is left frustrated and hungering for a true Dominant.

A strong submissive needs a man who motivates her effortlessly across heart, body, mind, and soul. She needs a relationship where she can be completely and effortlessly guided - with no thoughts of ever again deploying her past tactics. Indeed, a true Dominant intuitively knows her and constantly amazes her with his intimate understanding of her wiring. And any attempt to disrupt the natural exchange of power between Dominant and submissive will be met with impeccably orchestrated “reminders”.

A strong submissive also needs an equally strong Dominant to complete her. Any D/s bond requires this perfect fusion of equal, but opposite halves of the same coin. This, in turn, culminates in fulfillment and self-actualization. It creates a feeling or catharsis, bliss, and renewal whenever Dominant and submissive are together. It makes us each stronger, more motivated, and more steadfast in our resolve to constantly grow and evolve on many dimensions.

(via bohemianbabygirl)

Source: aspeciallight